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by Matthew Flickstein
We began exploring the aggregate of feelings in the chapter concerned
with purification of virtue (in the book Swallowing the River
The Buddha further describes feelings by dividing them into three pairs.
The first pair contains pleasant worldly feelings and pleasant spiritual
feelings. A pleasant worldly feeling arises when we have contact with a
pleasant sense object, or when we think about an aspect of worldly life that
brings us pleasure (thoughts of family, friends, personal interests, and so
on). A pleasant spiritual feeling arises in connection with meditation
practice, such as when we experience the joy associated with deep
concentration, when we have a spiritual insight, and so forth.
The second pair includes unpleasant worldly feelings and unpleasant
spiritual feelings. An unpleasant worldly feeling arises when we have contact
with an unpleasant sense object or when we think about an aspect of worldly
life that brings us psychological pain (thoughts of losing a family member,
failing at some task, losing a job, and so forth). An unpleasant spiritual
feeling arises in connection with meditation practice. We may experience
disappointment, for example, when our spiritual progress is slower than we
thought it would be, or we may experience fear when we realize just how
impermanent everything really is.
The final pair of feelings consists of neutral worldly feelings and
neutral spiritual feelings. A neutral worldly feeling is a feeling of
indifference. It arises when we have contact with a worldly sense object that
neither brings us pleasure nor pain, or when we give consideration to an aspect
of worldly life that holds no interest for us. This feeling may arise, for
example, when we see the same billboard on the way to work each day, or when we
hear a weather report for a place we have no plans on visiting. A neutral
spiritual feeling, however, is experienced as equanimity and is the result of
spiritual maturity. A mind possessing the quality of equanimity experiences
every object of consciousness without attachment or aversion. It develops
naturally as we proceed with our practice of meditation and continue to observe
things as they are.
Although feelings automatically arise whenever there is sense contact,
the type of feeling that we experience can be influenced by our perception of
the sense object being experienced. For example, hearing someone sing while we
are listening to the radio may result in a pleasant feeling, but hearing
someone sing when we are trying to meditate may result in an unpleasant
feeling. Recognizing that we cannot control everyone or everything in our life
may create an unpleasant feeling, but realizing that there is no self to be in
control can result in a feeling of equanimity.
If we are not aware of the feelings as they rise and fall from moment to
moment -- if we are not guarding the sense doors -- we may either react to the
feelings we experience or to the objects upon which the feelings are based. The
tendency is to grasp at pleasant feelings or objects, to resist unpleasant
feelings or objects, and to become bored with or indifferent toward feelings
and objects that are neither pleasant nor unpleasant. This reactivity is part
of a conditioned chain of events that occurs without the necessity of a self
driving the process.
The following contemplations support the arising of insight into the
nature of feelings, the ways in which we react to those feelings, and the
impersonal causes and conditions behind the feelings themselves. The
contemplation of feelings plays a key role in helping to break the chain that
keeps us in bondage to our sensory experiences.
For the first exercise, choose any one of the sense organs to work with
for an entire day. Observe the particular feelings that occur when sense
objects are encountered through that sense door. When feelings occur, their
presence may be experienced as bodily sensations or merely intuited without
having specifically located them in the body. However, it is essential to
directly experience the feelings and not just to theorize that they must have
occurred. Determine whether each feeling that arises is pleasant, unpleasant,
or neutral. In the following days, repeat this process for each of the other
sense organs.Remember that the mind is considered a sense organ that
experiences thoughts, feelings, volitions, and other mental formations as its
sense objects.
The first contemplation enables us to recognize how feelings arise
spontaneously when sense contact occurs. It reveals how feelings are
conditioned by those contacts, and how we have no choice as to whether feelings
will arise. It also helps us recognize just how incessantly consciousness is
being impinged upon by feelings.
To practice the second exercise, we continue to meditate by focusing on
the rise and fall of every in-breath and every out-breath, noticing with great
precision their impermanent nature. Whenever the mind shifts its attention to
another object of awareness, we recognize the impermanent nature of that
object, and then gently but firmly return to the breath. If at any point, however,
we realize that we have lost our focus for an extended period of time, we
immediately reflect back to see what initially distracted the mind's attention.
We may find that it was not the thoughts, images, or sense objects themselves
that we were reacting to, but to the feelings that were associated with those
experiences.
The second contemplation illuminates the conditioned nature of the mind
and the way in which the mind reacts to feelings without any conscious
consideration on our part. It enables us to discover how the mind grasps after
pleasant feelings or the objects that provide those feelings, how it resists
unpleasant feelings or objects, and how it becomes bored or indifferent with
feelings or objects that are neutral. As a result of this contemplation we
realize that the mind's reactivity to sensory experience is conditioned,
dependently arisen, and occurs without a self in control of the process.
In the final exercise, we use feelings as an opportunity to discover the
true nature of our moment-to-moment experience. This contemplation, if
diligently practiced, will lead to significant insights.
After sitting in meditation for an extended period of time, bodily pain
begins to arise. The first strategy is to watch the rise and fall of the painful
feeling and then to return to our breath. However, if the feeling is very
intense, we will find it difficult to stay focused on the breath. When this
occurs, we begin using the painful feeling as the primary object of our
meditation.
The typical response to an unpleasant feeling is to resist it or to
engage in some activity that may change the nature of the feeling we are
experiencing. In terms of sitting meditation, we may decide to change positions
or to slightly adjust our posture. By doing so, however, we lose our
concentration and are not following one of the most important principles of
insight meditation: to remain choicelessly aware of whatever arises to
consciousness. The issue with pain, more than the unpleasant feeling itself, is
the fear of being overwhelmed by the experience. As a result, we tend to
mentally and physically tighten around pain when it occurs. This response
serves to intensify the unpleasant experience.
To practice this contemplation, we are to relax, soften, and settle into
the experience of the painful feeling. We are to become so intimate with the
pain that we can penetrate our misperceptions about the unpleasant feeling and
see it for what it really is. We will then be able to recognize the impermanent
nature of the pain and discover that there is no pain in the knee, back, or
other location as such. The place in which we feel the pain actually keeps
shifting from moment to moment. Further, if we are very attentive, we realize
that between pulsations of pain, there is the absence of pain.
We will also find that the quality of pain keeps changing. We may first
experience the sensation as burning, then as pressure, then as throbbing, and
so forth. If we are able to remain fully present with the pain, it often
reaches a point where it breaks up and completely disappears, showing once
again its impermanence.
By remaining present with the experience, we will also become aware of
the unsatisfactory nature of feelings. Of course, with painful feelings this is
quite obvious. However, if we were to remain choicelessly present with the most
pleasurable of feelings, we would eventually see them change into unpleasant
feelings. This makes all feelings, even pleasant ones, impermanent and
ultimately unsatisfactory.
As we continue to observe the painful feelings, we discover their
selfless nature. We realize that what is actually occurring is the rise and
fall of unpleasant feelings, concurrent with the rise and fall of the
awareness, or consciousness, of those feelings. There is no self as part of,
behind, or in control of the process. The feelings arise due to sense contact,
and in effect, the feeling itself is the feeler. When this insight occurs, we
discover the difference between a feeling and the mind's aversive reaction to
that feeling. This insight transforms our relationship to feelings, enabling us
to maintain our equanimity with whatever feelings arise.