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Homework Schedule

Skillful Speech

Please continue to record your observations in your journal. Choose one or more of these exercises and set aside a meaningful period of time each day to practice them.

Exercise Number One

We may not set out to tell a deliberate lie, but habits of mind often react unskillfully in a moment where we feel threatened or where intense desire arises. Record each lie immediately after you tell it. Record why you told the lie so that you can start recognizing your conditioned patterns of mind (e.g., to gain something such as money, recognition, etc.; to avoid losing something such as respect, time, etc.) Record the immediate and ongoing psychological consequences of having told the lie.

Exercise Number Two

Record each situation where you raise your voice or speak harshly, right after it occurs. Record why it occurred so you can start recognizing your conditioned patterns of mind (e.g., anger, impatience, etc.)

Exercise Number Three

Keep track of how much time you spend each day in conversations that do not lead you to greater clarity of mind.

Exercise Number Four

If one of your friends tells you about a problem he or she is having and you have the urge to give that person advice, you should STOP and observe (with bare attention) your intention to offer advice. If you discover that the intention of the advice is to manipulate the other person, you would allow that intention to pass away without acting on it. However, if the intention is to help the person avoid experiencing some difficulties, you still need to consider if your friend is merely using the communication as an opportunity to "vent", rather than wanting to hear any "advice" at this time. If this is so, you would withhold your advice and just continue to listen. If you sense that your friend is seeking your help, and what you have to say is true, correct and beneficial, and it is the right time to say it, then you would allow yourself to communicate your advice.


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